


Learning Love through Letters

by Emms99coffee_star



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Pen Pals, Post-Season/Series 03, mostly letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23416390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emms99coffee_star/pseuds/Emms99coffee_star
Summary: Love is….. a feeling that consumes you whole. One can read about it, talk about it and yet, understand only when they walk along the Lover’s Lane with their true mate, hand in hand. Only, Anne and Gilbert have to experience everything miles away from each other, letter by letter.The ending of S3 was so inspiring and beautifully open, that here is yet another attempt to write how our new pen pals would deal with it. Hopefully, it’s original enough to be still entertaining.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 46
Kudos: 94





	1. Love is to be brave!

Gilbert let out a groan of frustration.

He already drafted like 10 letters over the past week and still wouldn’t let himself send any of them. It was easier to write everything down when he thought there was no hope, and he was saying good-bay with the simple truth of his heart. But now, the page turned and the stakes were high again. Revealing his heart was terrifying and he didn’t even know why anymore.

With his knee bumping violently and heart beating restlessly, he looked at the written words ‘I love you’. Why wasn't he direct and tell her in person? Instead, he’d stood there, stunned by the power of the moment, and only managed to verbalise his insecurity of not believing that she could have feelings for him too. And yes, she kissed him but what if she just considered… No, he had to stop all this nonsense! If she didn’t have any real feelings for him, he would have earned a sharp slap or been thrown into a bush for kissing her without any preamble. Anne wasn’t exactly shy.

No, she stood in front of him like a dream wrapped in deep blue, stroked by a white sturdy lace and lit up with bright red halo. Her eyelashes were fluttering while she was giving him an astounded look that Gilbert was sure was reflecting back at her from his own eyes as well. And their kiss! The kiss that ended all useless thoughts, and brought instead a new deal of glorious sensations. He knew, no - _felt_ \- that she held the same regard for him as he for her in that moment. The moment that Gilbert could never forget. He recalled Anne’s gaze, so much gentle and full of feelings, and tried to work up the courage once more, intended to finally find the right words.

Taking a new list of paper form a stack on the right corner of his wooden desk, he was preparing himself to start again only to be interrupted by a quick knock on his door.

“A letter for you, Blythe!” Rodney, one of his room-mates, let himself in and handed him his post, annoyed.

Recognising the handwriting on the envelope, Gilbert thanked him absentmindedly, not paying attention to the disgruntled peer or his retreat, only checking that the door were closed again after he left.

The letter was from Anne! His courageous and brilliant Anne. She was able to write already. Excited, Gilbert teared the envelope, luckily still mindful of the paper inside, and started reading immediately.

_August 31, 1889, Charlottetown_

_Dear Gilbert,_

_I look like my mother!_

_I can admit most sincerely that my wide hunt for words could never describe the feelings that have been rolling through me since I saw her drawing this afternoon. My soul is capturing her most lovely name, Bertha, together with the second most lovely name, Walter, my father, who had apparently an artistic talent for he was the one that made the impressive drawing. As of today, I am in possession of a book that belonged to my parents. They were wonderful. Real. Teachers! Thanks to my dearest Marilla and Matthew I have such an important piece of my past. Can you believe it? What a magical, marvellous day today has been!_

_And can you still believe it if I confess that by virtue of the most peculiar fate, this has also been the same day when I reunited with a mate who is very dear to my heart and who stole the most romantic kiss from my lips? And to whom -dare I say!- my lips returned the favour heartily? If only you weren’t so far…_

_It feels very similar to the last time you were long miles away. However now, I can admit freely to wanting to know every single detail of your new journey and the thoughts drifting through your fine mind. All the perks of being the official pen pals this time! But first, how did you even get into the U of Toronto? When have you decided you wanted to? Was it during the indafinite period of time when we were foolishly misunderstanding each other?_

_Not sure how to broach the wonderful inevitable, and thus I’m asking my dear old friend to assist me. You see, I always felt strong connection to Jane Eyre. She was my hero. She was my inspiration. She was a survivor. I shall never forget the first time I opened an old, dusty book and read about the young brave girl who became even more courageous young woman. Coming to Green Gables, I was imagining being Jane coming to Thornfield, full of expectations and hope for her new home. Even though Green Gables didn’t have the same poetically tragical atmosphere, I dreamed of having her strength while enduring my uncertain first days with Marilla and Matthew, or making my first friends among local peers._

_Never have I ever dreamed though that I would live through the romantic parts as well. I couldn’t possibly find words to express what surprise you were to me. Right from the beginning. It was easier when I could have claimed that you were my enemy or even my friend but then, our dance practise dropped me right into the Elisabeth Bennet story, and my heart has been singing ever since. Unfortunately, all the circumstances thereafter had been confusing me enormously, proving my original doubts right. Jane did possess the strength to confess her love despite believing it hopeless and hadn’t mentioned enough the terrifying way your body and heart clenches when you’re about to put yourself out there in the matter of such strong devotion. Miraculously, I’d find the courage too and confessed my feelings for you in the name of hope fighting tragical love._

_Missing any response from your side, I thought that I had to experience the tragical romance after all._ _Yet today, the world turned on its axis and none of it seemed to matter when we saw each other. I just knew you weren’t with Winnifred anymore. And you were there. With me! We were together, both longing for each other. I could feel it. Could you? What a bliss of a day…_

_As the day is sadly drawing near to its end, and we are away from each other again, I suppose some explanations are in order. I have to admit to never reading the note you left at my room. Diana also shared that you’ve never read the note with my confession I left at your house. As much as I would like to know all the contents and other missed declarations, it feels like water under the bridge, as you once said, and I want to start anew. With a clean slate and without the pressure of having to decide the elements of our future. Please let me know your own thoughts on the matter._

_Oh, Gilbert. How surreal it feels, me being here far from Green Gables, far from Marilla, Matthew and far from you. Thank Gracious Father that Diana is here with me now. Luckily, the lessons start in only few days and I’m beyond excited for them. For the beginning of my teacher education. When you consider Jane’s and my parents’ calling, then it’s only fitting that I aspire to become a teacher too, don’t you think? Although, I really hope that my adventures at Queens will be vastly different from Jane’s at Lowood. From what I’ve seen so far, it seems pretty likely!_

_The candle is flickering low, and Diana has been asleep for hours. I should have been too, but how one can go to sleep when in such wonderful state of mind?_

_I shall part with you with a wish for you feeling the same amount of joy wherever you currently are or will be, when this letter finds you._

_I miss you._

_Over and above the moon thrilled,_

_Anne_

_P.S. Thank you for the telegram with your Toronto address! Highly appreciated._

_P.P.S. As it seems, I am unfairly always the one who has to confess to you first. Sir, I suggest you step up your game and finally tell me what goes through that handsome head of yours._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Alright, so I've been a little obsessed with parallels between Anne and Jane Eyre for some time now, and had the urge to write them down in any form. Somewhat, I wrote them directly from Anne's POW and it brought me to the thought why couldn't she express herself in a letter? And to whom better send a letter than to Gilbert? In the end, this fanfic is what it came down to...
> 
> I really hope I'm not doing Anne or Jane injustice, and that the letter is enjoyable for you too. I wish to have Anne's way with words but unfortunately, it seems unlikely to happen.
> 
> Thank you for reading, if you liked it, the next chapter should continue with the same concept under the title: Love is to be honest.
> 
> Hope, you are all staying well and safe!


	2. Love is to be honest!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback on the first chapter! I was beyond myself that you guys liked Anne's letter :-)
> 
> Even though, it also meant that I had to look for every ounce of courage in me to post this one. Gilbert is very hard to write because he seems (to me) like a man of few words and then he goes and provides a declaration like a poet himself! Unfortunately, my capabilities are very limited and I hope to not disappoint anybody.

Anne was sitting in the parlour of their boarding house together with Diana and her suitor… or a beau, or was he really anything?!

She wasn’t all that sure as Diana kept pretty vague about any inclination regarding the young gentleman, only having asked Anne three days ago if she could chaperone them this Saturday for a cup of tea, and Anne loyally agreed. Oh, how she regretted it now!

She watched the should-be-romantic tryst taking place in front of her eyes and wondered, what exactly was the purpose of this, other than a torture of everybody present. Diana sat next to her, very calm, conversing and behaving like the proper lady her mother wanted her to be, making Anne believe that her best friend was dying from boredom. Her dainty pinkie was arranged perfectly as her glowed hand held the porcelain tea-cup, and her face was wrapped up in a politeness as her lips formed a charming smile at the smitten boy sitting across from them. Andrew Whelks, if Anne remembered his name correctly, was dazing at her friend’s every graceful move and was blabbering something about activities, he and his friends did outside their student program. It could be interesting, or he could be talking about cows, and Anne wouldn’t know.

For she could outburst at any minute! Wondering, how this could be fair, Anne was trying not to fidget too much, or not to simply jump straight up and flee out of the room. That was of course unthinkable as she wouldn’t leave her best friend behind, but couldn’t they at least talk little faster?!

Every morning this week, she went through the post of Blackmore household, looking for a letter or a telegram, anything addressed to her in the familiarly neat handwriting.

Nothing!

And now, when she was trapped here, Mrs. Blackmore just comes out of sudden with _“Miss Cuthbert, there was a letter for you mixed in my correspondence!”_

That was like half an hour ago, and she was still sitting in her spot, sentenced to fidgeting, throwing desperate looks at Diana and quite seriously pondering being impolite and just opening the letter there, in front of them.

She was checking the handwriting on the white envelope securely held in her shaking fingers once more, when she noticed that Diana laid her cup down, again without any visible progress on her cold tea. In that moment, Anne had just enough and kicked her friend under the table.

After getting Diana’s a little bewildered attention, Anne sent her a pleading look and nodded to the letter in her lap. Diana finally understood and immediately interrupted poor Andrew that apparently hadn’t noticed anything.

“Mr. Whelks, it’s so lovely outside! Why don’t you finish that thrilling thought during a walk around our garden?” she asked pleasantly.

The young man was clearly surprised by the sudden suggestion but managed to quickly adapt to the change and compliment the dark haired acquittance on her lovely idea.

Before any of them could stand up, Anne was already out of the room, looking for their outside coats.

Sitting under an oak, Anne checked that the two were in a respectable distance (she doubted that Mr. Whelks noticed her whereabouts as he was more than happy to walk with Diana alone) and carefully took the letter out of her dress pocket. She couldn’t believe it. She waited two weeks, trying to remember the exact words she wrote in a hurry and in all her excitement, conjuring up what he would think, feel and answer. She was shocked by herself when she remembered her bold post script but she always claimed to be a bride of adventure and knew that Gilbert appreciated the fact.

Now, the response was finally here!

Opening the seals and taking out the precious paper, she almost didn't breath from anticipation.

_September 9, 1889, Toronto_

_My dear Anne,_

_it was such a blessing to receive your letter confirming that the happiest of my days was indeed real, that I was not far away from running back to the harbour, taking the first ship and travelling back to Charlottetown - to come to your door, sweep you off your feet and exceed every romantic thought you ever had. Perhaps, you could then write me again about our romantic encounter and any bliss connected with it, and I would have TWO of the most amazing letters ever written. Unfortunately, as it’s a hardly possible idea, this piece of paper is all I can work with._

_Foremost, I have to tell you that I was very happy to read the news of your parents. It is truly marvellous to find out there were more people like you to walk the earth. And I’m not surprised. It only makes sense that Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, the fairy from a world far far away, knew her calling all this time and chose accordingly. If you allow, then one day and by your side, I would love to see the drawing of your mom and adore in person the loveliest features there are._

_For now, I’m gratified to know that you have Diana as your roommate, and that you two can experience all the new adventures together. It’s my sincere wish that you’re enjoying Charlottetown and Queens with all the flower gardens surrounding it. Here, the university grounds are situated next to a large green area called the Queen’s Park and practically within Toronto centre, still close to the harbour. There are several beautiful spots I’ve been able to see worth sharing but I’m going to keep them for next time as my feelings should and could not be held back anymore. If you’re still wondering about my deepest thoughts, please read on and be prepared that I’m going to be absolutely honest about them._

_At the very beginning, I should confess how fully I understand the connection with your heroin Jane. Because I also got to know a person who is my hero, my inspiration and an exceptional survivor. For she’s amazingly strong and brave. You’re so very brave, Anne. And you are so much more too! Do you have even the slightest idea how much I admire you, care for you and long for you? I always thought that I had been fully obvious, but now it seems I was rather a fool if you hadn’t noticed, or had felt hopeless at any point in time._

_Much to my dismay, I follow your confusion and can say nothing more than that I’m incredibly sorry. I hadn’t planned to go so far in my relations with Winnifred, and therefore shouldn’t have let it go there if I hadn’t been fully certain about my intentions. It was unfair to all parties and damn worthy. Only at the last possible moment I realised, that my soul won’t accept anything else but the genuine feelings locked in my heart. And as we both already know, you’ve been the one who was keeping the key the whole time. Since before the bonfire night, before our dance, even before spending hours together, working on our newspaper articles._

_The note addressed to you was my last attempt to disclose everything with the utmost sincerity but as it appears, the mutual understanding wasn’t meant for us until the very last day. Yet, the moment Diana revealed your mysterious correspondence and the moment I saw you… Anne, you unlocked my heart and released all the love and yearning hidden there._

_Please believe me that I know without a doubt that I love you with a force that lasts forever and that I have no inclination for our story to be of tragical fate at all. I agree wholeheartedly with starting again - with our feelings out there and without any pressure. Even when it means you get to conceal what happened to my correspondence, my dear pen pal. I can admit that I simply never got yours._

_Now when it’s finally all there, out and clear, I can answer your questions. Indeed, the thought of Toronto and me attending the medical program here came up right during the time when the Queens results were out. My chances had been very indefinite but with the help of Dr. Oak, the female doctor and friend of Ms. Stacy, the outcome was still in my favour. Thanks to both of these ladies I was able to get in on late admission, hence the sudden and hurried departure on my part on our fateful day._

_Even though I’ve been here only a week, I can already tell how demanding the whole semester is going to be, but you know me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, a crucial competition with the brightest schoolmate had been my main motivation for years, and I’m prepared for every challenge. What’s more, Dr. Oak is running her own research program at one of the departments that I hope to join eventually. I had two meetings with her and can already tell that she’s an excellent example of a strong and maganimous person to hold her status in the faculty among the old-fashioned professors._

_That brings me... How are your lessons going? Did the professors at Queens meet your expectations? And what about the latest adventures? Are you able to visit Green Gables? I'm sorry if I'm just firing questions in my conclusion but I ache to know as most as possible so the distance doesn't seem so endlessly long. I'm grateful for every thought._

_If you may, please forward my regards to folks home. I miss everybody. You the most. Every day. Every night._

_With love,_

_Gilbert_

_P.S. Miss, you know you can beat me only fair and square…_

_P.P.S. That’s why I wonder how you’re always able to do it so effectively. This time you saved me from despair. Truly, Anne. I’m in debt to you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading till the end!
> 
> Anne and Gilbert, both confessed and both declared to wanting to start something new!
> 
> Now, I prepared a few little stories what each of them can experience on their separate journeys, and how it could effect their long-distance relationship. I'm also entering a word-puzzle within the letters that I think these two nerds are capable of...
> 
> I'm sending a wish for everybody to be well and safe!
> 
> Next chapter: Love is to be growing!


	3. Love is to grow!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's starting. 
> 
> First month of school with Gilbert settling in Toronto and Anne enduring the first escapade in Charlottetown.

Gilbert yawned ungracefully as he made his way towards the student residence and his small bedroom in its attic.

Fortunately, the accommodation wasn’t far away from the U or the city centre where he just found an employment as a manual helper with favourable conditions and nice wage for such work. Smiling grimly, he recalled his own naivety. Originally, he had been thinking about finding a similar apprenticeship as in Charlottetown with Dr. Ward. How they laughed at him! Of course, a university city with a wide supply of medical students of various degrees and specialisations isn’t looking for a newbie without connections. Gilbert came to understand his chances (or their lack of) very quickly and had been looking for anything at least little reasonable. After two weeks of no success, he was becoming quite desperate because fixing additional income was one of the essential tasks he had to accomplish right at the very beginning of his living in Toronto. He had enough saved up to cover his expenses and Bash would be sending him portions of earnings from their farm but if he wanted to think of the future and expanding its possibilities, every dollar counted.

He got unexpectedly lucky a few days ago. As he was waiting in front of the west hall, early to the lecture of _Introduction to Anatomy_ and absorbed in the ads of Toronto Star, a very frustrated student fled out of the entrance door with lots of heavy curses falling from his mouth. Amused, Gilbert glanced from the newspaper to the clearly angry fellow standing two meters away from him.

Gilbert noted that the older student had a small bone in his fingers which he was currently holding close to the eyes, examining the thing in detail while still continuing to swear under his breath.

“Nice carpal!” Gilbert spoke, not able to held himself back.

The fellow stopped swearing as he took notice of another being’s presence and pondered Gilbert’s observation.

“Carpal….sure!” he glanced at him thoughtfully before directly asking, “Do you know which one?” and put the bone in the size of the small coin in front if Gilbert’s eyes.

“It certainly seems like capitate!” Gilbert responded without hesitation. He spent a lot of time with Mr. Bones in Dr. Ward’s practice as one of his first tasks was to put him together, from a skull to the last phalange. He was pretty confident in the matter of all bones.

“Thanks, man!” the fellow exclaimed and vanished inside, the wrist bone triumphantly grasped in the right hand.

Gilbert returned with a sigh to the ads. _‘All morning loading. The harbour calls! Come to help load/unload, and don’t b a toad! The dock 4. Contact…’_ Best time schedule ever! He thought ironically because who needed to actually go to classes, right?!

After 15 minutes, the door opened again and this time, all aspiring students were coming out of the building. The previous lecture ended.

The bone guy that was a head taller than Gilbert but skinnier with short straight fair hair walked directly to him.

“You were right,” he said in praise. “Dr. Bainman likes to test us when he’s in the mood.”

Gilbert just shrugged, folding the newspaper list into his Anatomy book.

“What are the news?! Something intriguing, that you’re looking into it the entire day?”

“Not really sure,” Gilbert looked at his friendly smile and answered honestly. “I’m just looking at the job ads.”

“Oh, you’re looking for gig?”

“Yeah, but without any success for weeks.”

The older fellow nodded in sympathy. “It’s pretty hard in T if you don’t know anybody who could help you… I’m Tom. Tom Lancaster.”

“Gilbert. Blythe,” he said simply and shook Tom’s offered hand.

“Well, Gilbert, I might know of something. My boss mentioned yesterday that we could do with another helping hand, if you’re interested.”

Gilbert let out a quick bark of laughter. “Really?!” Could it be, that luck smiled at him too, in the end?

Tom grinned at him cheekily and retreated to his friends that waited for him next to the nearest bench.

“Just come Friday afternoon to Miller’s Pharmacy on Yonge St, and we’ll see what can be done!” he called before turning completely away from him.

Hence today, after the end of last class, Gilbert set his course on Yonge St. and walked with renewed hope. Tom looked like a fair guy and Gilbert didn’t believe that he would offer him anything unmanageable being medical student as well. And really, right after he arrived, the owner, Mr. Miller, accepted him for quick introduction so they could agree on schedule that was feasible for them both.

Gilbert had luck that not many of the students were used to hard work so when Mr. Miller noticed that he doesn’t have any problem with lifting heavy boxes or balancing himself on their narrow ladder, he was accepted immediately for a trial run of two weeks. He could arrive in the afternoon and his main job would be unloading and disposing of heavy boxes that came that day and categorising all the material to its right place. The pharmacy had shelfs from bottom to the tall ceiling and all of them were full of different stuff. Gilbert was looking forward to learning what all of that was.

Today, he had to do work worth of several days though and didn’t even want to think about how late it was when he managed to finish all given tasks. It was already dark and Tom long gone.

When Gilbert finally arrived to his bedroom, he leaned on the door and closed eyes for a moment. He was tired, but in a content way, happy that another piece of his game plan found its designed place.

It didn’t take long for his thoughts to move to his red headed pen pal. His beautiful, high spirited girl back home. Needing to read her letter for hundredth time, he reopened eyes immediately and did two steps to his table only to stop there and stare at its top.

He smiled fondly because there on his old table laid just the thing to lift up even more his spirits and warm his heart. A second letter from Anne.

His fingers caressed the envelope lovingly. Gilbert didn’t know how it was possible, but every day Anne felt closer and at the same time farther than the day before. Particularly in the evenings, he missed her the most, sad, that they couldn’t share their days until a letter came from one of them. The distance sucked. Fortunately, not so much tonight.

_September 22, 1889, Charlottetown_

_Dear Gilbert,_

_I dreamed a dream. The weather was gorgeous, everything went splendid and I received a love letter from you. But then, I woke up into a nightmare and everything turned upside down, black and red. And tragically, not the auburn shade!_

_Let me tell you what a peculiar week this just had been. It all started last Saturday._

_When I remember the wonderful first day of that weekend, how exquisite I felt after experiencing the first proper school week at Queens! It was five astonishing days full of meeting new people that all seemed to be kindred spirits, seeking wisdom and higher knowledge of advanced studies. I felt almost sacred, sitting among them and soaking up the omnipresent air of our next education. And that I’m speaking only about our local humble college! I can’t even imagine the majestic atmosphere at the Toronto university. How momentous the halls and lecture rooms have to be there?!_

_And still, I’m convinced that whatever amount of excitement these new experiences brought me or you, it could never balance the amount of joy I felt while reading your dear words. Your letter was delivered to me that Saturday in the afternoon, and I was able to fancy reading it under my favourite tree in the garden. I wonder... Why is it that I miss you the most when I read your thoughts and precious declarations? Gilbert, I love you. I hadn’t been sure how to grasp love in the past but since the second of my revelation I knew. Most assuredly. And, every day, I’m assured even more and more! Every day, I remember your handsome face, every day I read your loving words devoted to me._

_I still haven’t decided if I should thank you for fulfilling my dream of making me the heroin of your story or contradict you on the description of my character. I certainly can’t be that special! But if that served in winning your affections then I shall seal my lips and let you keep that notion forever. Especially, after finding out how blessed feeling it is to know my love isn’t unrequited after all because you love me too._

_Dr. Oak sounds like the epitome of human best virtues! I’m so infinitely grateful to her for representing our gender as capable of maintaining such position and even more so for helping my dearest soul to the education he deserves. And I have no doubt you join whichever research you choose. If it will be the one led by Dr. Oak then there is simply no option of you not being halfway in already. For you’re the wisest person I happen to know and if you wish, I can write a recommendation full of my sincere beliefs in you._

_As for the professors at Queens, then Ms. Grace, our teacher of the most important subject ever, English literature, isn’t that magnanimous as she doesn’t let anyone get away with anything (I had to redo my paper on ‘The best poets of our century and their influence on literature’ three times because big words aren’t apparently appropriate for literary analysis) but her notes are unbelievably insightful and kind of genius! And her lessons are positively far more engaging than Geometry of Mr. Tremblay who has a very langguorous method of explaining his logic. How he gets the idea that we could understand the problems in that way, I’ll never know._

_When I’m bringing up tedious and incomprehensible subjects… Gilbert, I have to confide in you what happened to my bosom Diana and me!_

_Hard to believe now that it had begun so innocently._

_As one would expect, Diana’s beauty and fairness had been noticed immediately the first week at Queens, and my friend was openly admired by many male students and acquaintances. All the attention was quite amusing until one of them, Andrew Whelks, expressed a wish to invite Diana for tea right the first day they met. A fairly harmless and ordinary proposal if you ask me, therefore unreasonable for Diana to decline. They decided on an official call on Saturday, in the parlour of our boarding house, and with me being the chaperone. I won’t bore you what was discussed during that tea but I can affirm that the whole visit went well and in decent and friendly manners. Well,... only till it didn’t and instead, went all downhill. And I’m ashamed to admit that I’m partly to blame. My poor Diana!_

_I already mentioned that your letter came to me that afternoon. As it was becoming absolutely impossible for me to wait to read it, Diana and Mr. Whelks continued their chat while strolling round the garden where I could sit under my darling tree and still see them from the spot. Tragically, as Gracious Father won’t allow me to change the past, I can only regret endlessly that I didn’t stay with them. I had read your letter only twice when I heard Diana’s horrified whimper… You won’t believe what I saw after lifting my head! Mr. Whelks was down on one knee and offering marriage! I immediately ran to them but my dear fearless friend was already berating the lad for his foolishness. Very loudly and angry so, that I thought she will fight him on the spot! Most likely, he was of the same opinion because he vanished instantly. It may sound insensitive of Diana, but can you imagine her shock? What was he thinking?! They saw each other exactly three times before that, and Diana swears that she never gave that gentleman inclination of any affection whatsoever. Moreover, I can confirm that her behaviour was rather indifferent politeness than anything else the entire time! But the deed was done anyway._

_First, we thought that the incident stays between us, because luckily no-one else saw them to witness the fiasco, but Mr. Whelks, deeply embarrassed and hurt, decided to uncover his disappointment following Monday among our classmates. Word went from one to another and soon, everyone knew. It seemed like all things fell apart in whole Charlottetown. I have to admire dear Diana that she was (and still is) facing everything so bravely and with her head held high! I just cannot understand the response of other folks - either they find Diana cold or some men find her now as a challenge… we even got a warning from Mrs. Blackmore, our residence headkeeper, about proper visits and chaperoning (apparently, there are rules for chaperones now too). I bet that Mr. Whelks didn’t have to listen to any such talk. How infuriating! And no, you don’t need to worry, Diana already forbade me from confronting him._

_It had been a week now and everything started to finally calm down, even though we’re still waiting for riot from Diana’s parents. Thankfully, aunt Jo assured us that everything is going to be alright and everybody forgets with time. (She doesn’t show but personally, I think she takes quite a great deal of entertainment from it. Hopefully, Diana didn’t notice.) Meanwhile, me, Tillie, Ruby, Josie and Jane try to support our friend the most we can._

_So you see Gilbert, not even a month in Charlottetown and already a calamity! But what can be expected with such a class, full of Avonlea bests? Speaking of which, how are you? Are you settling in well? I do hope your first month in Toronto was a happy one and that you’ve been thinking of me the same way I’ve been thinking of you._

_At the beginning of October I’m planning my first visit home, back to Green Gables for one weekend, and I will be forwarding your greetings._

_Love all the way to Toronto,_

_Anne_

_P.S. I do find tea sittings rather silly and not only due to this incident. They are ok for when you want to sit down and have tea, but like romantic rendezvous? I think I would prefer long walks and moments lost in conversation with my love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading!
> 
> I will be super glad when you let me know if you like the side stories from Toronto and Charlottetown, so I know if or how to continue with them :-)
> 
> I hope everybody is well and safe!
> 
> Next chapter: Love is to respect!


	4. Love is to respect!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Diana are travelling back to Avonlea to visit folks home. Gilbert tries to avoid miscommunication this round and presents a topic that needs to be acknowledged, even though he and Anne are far from ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All U of Toronto tuitions and study programs are purely fictional in this story.
> 
> The first part made me miss Anne and the show. I would like to mention Moira's team for AWAE and L.M.Montgomery for AOGG specially in this chapter because they're the real creators here <3

Anne was absolutely excited.

Not only was she sitting next to her best friend on the afternoon train bringing them home for the weekend, but she also received another letter from Gilbert! She hadn’t been able to open it before boarding as it had arrived right when they were leaving the BM residence, and thus she was still enjoying the thrilling feeling of unbearable anticipation - it was such sweet vexation!

“Anne, do you really want to wait till you get home to read it? You look as if you could burst any second with agitation,” her friend offered once again.

“Oh, dear Diana, I just might burst completely! But I’m prepared to suffer until I’m well in my sanctuary where I can read his words with the possibility for appropriate reactions.”

Diana chuckled. “I’ve never expected to see the day. You smitten. And with Gilbert!” she proclaimed teasingly.

Anne straitened her shoulders in fake nonchalance. “Please. I’m not that interested in him! I just can’t wait to read what’s happening in Toronto. Can you believe it? Such a big city!”

Diana, the loyal friend she was, nodded in agreement before they both laughed out.

Anne was so grateful that Diana seemed to do better and laugh in true happy spirits again. It looked as if they could put the whole episode finally behind them. Mr. Whelks and his ruthless behaviour couldn’t bring either of them down!

Looking out of the window, her heart clenched. As Gilbert wrote, Queens’ grounds included pretty gardens with over 40 flower species that hey could admire during walks but it could never outmatch the natural beauty of her Avonlea. Recognising their surroundings, she felt her eyes cloud with affectionate tears. They were arriving home.

Right after the train had stopped, she gave a quick good-bay hug to Diana and took off with her suitcase in the direction of the courtyard for people waiting with carriages. According to the last letter from Marilla, she and Matthew both should be picking her up.

And truly.

“Matthew! Marilla!” she exclaimed eagerly while avoiding people in the crowd to run straight into Matthew’s open arms.

“You’re home!” Matthew said simply while holding her. Anne surely felt so and sighed happily.

“Now, now. Let’s go before you two turn all mushy.”

“Marilla!” Anne interrupted the dry commentary and put her arms around the other member of their little family, relishing when her affection was returned immediately with even tighter squeeze.

Back at their sweet home, she and Marilla were preparing potatoes and other vegetable for stew when she couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Marilla, I have news!”

“Another? I thought you exhausted all in the bunch you’ve shared already.”

“These are especially spectacular. Marilla, it seems that Gilbert has got feelings for me after all!”

Anne expected her beloved companion to be astonished, excited or at least little surprised, but she just smiled calmly and continued with the work as if that wasn’t the world’s most turning information.

“Marilla, you’re not looking at me with utter astonishment?! How so?"

“Gilbert might have written to everybody home with that news.”

Anne’s temper flared up in an instant.

“He did what?!”

“Anne, calm down.”

“Calm down? He asked you to court me without even discussing such significant matter with me!”

“He didn’t exactly ask that.”

“He didn’t… he didn’t ask… he doesn’t want to court me?” Anne’s bewildered expression changed from angry to confused with unconcealed layer of hurt.

“Anne! Will you please listen for a minute!” Marilla started to appear frustrated from the turn of their talk and tried to sooth the air again quickly.

“I don’t know what you did or didn’t discussed. He only wrote to us that he never got engaged, that he has fond feelings for you and that he would like..” squinting her face in concentration, she laid down her knife and stopped peeling potatoes, looking up at Anne.

“Give me please a moment,” she hushed instantly, seeing Anne’s eyes go wild with anticipation. “ I don’t know how you both come up with such phrases…”

“Please, Marilla, remember. It’s important!”

“…to ask in proper advance -yes! that’s it- for our blessing to officially start pursuing your affection.”

Anne smiled at that but the glee didn't come back to her eyes.

Later, when Anne came to her room, she closed the door with a firm click. She was glad to be by herself for a moment so she could collect the pieces of her scattered thoughts.

She still couldn’t believe that Gilbert wrote home without telling her. It made her reel and her heart cut in half. One half was infuriated that he didn’t ask her first and that he did something like that at all. She wasn't ready and she didn't want everyone to know!

Because she didn’t think she would accept his courtship if he asked. Not now. Not yet.

The scoundrel almost proposed to a beautiful wealthy debutant after all and had the decency to parade with the blond directly in front of her eyes and aching heart!

She loved him. True, impossibly much. But an official courtship? Right away?! Didn't he think of her position in all this? Her feelings at least?

Well, technically he didn't ask Marilla and Matthew for a courtship and she found the wording of his declaration rather sweet, but she still had to read his letter to her. The express mark on the envelope, red and bold, that made her so excited earlier that day, was now daunting her. Looking at her vanity, she had to snort at the irony. She laid the letter down after her arrival at the exactly same spot Gilbert did just 2 months ago and she had the exactly same urge to tear it to pieces.

Coming slowly to the chest, she took the envelope in both of her shaking hands. It would be so easy to destroy it and pretend like today didn't happen.

However, there was still the second half of her heart that was beating furiously now and that didn't allow her to make the same mistake twice. Because that scoundrel somewhat came back to her and made her the happiest being on earth. Because when Marilla told her that he didn't ask to actually court her, there was a sharp stab of pain at the thought it wouldn't be a possibility.

It was all so confusing! But she couldn't avoid it anymore.

Sealing her fate, she finally found her courage and carefully opened the letter to reveal its contents.

_September 29, 1889, Toronto_

_My dear Anne,_

_what a September indeed. The first month in T had its ups and downs with so many headlights I want to share with you but I concede that yours and Diana’s misfortune conquers all local undertakings exceedingly._

_Kindly forward Diana my best wishes for less untoward incidents. My experience brings me confidence that she’s more than capable of handling herself well but she shouldn’t have to as gentlemen ought to be more considerate and sensible… yeah, I humbly agree, me too. Still, I hope you both know that if there is anything even notch serious or troublesome, then I’m here for you, ready to help or to cross the country back again if needed._

_Your letter implies that you’re enjoying Queen’s thoroughly, and I’m very happy to read that. Just for the sake of my curiosity… who were the poets that made your list? - I do hope Walt Whitman was involved, otherwise I would have to write you a comment in the same way as Ms. Grace… you would undoubtedly reply with a winning comeback slapping me in the face for the audacity and leaving me in awe of your wise arguments; proving once more, that you’re the brightest person I know. Perhaps, I could do the review of your geometry, then? Or, on the second thought, as you might be currently the only one who has got any beliefs in me, I should rather not tease you and only assure that your intelligence is far above any math problem._

_I suppose I’m settling in rather well, too. Your letters and studying help me fight the homesickness but I’m still missing you desperately. Especially after reading the most precious words of your love, that fill my heart to the brim and over, I long to have you near. Fortunately, patience is my strong virtue and I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that for all of my greatest desires I’ll have to wait and fight. Admittedly, they are worth of it so much._

_One of the goals is to join the university research. Dr. Oak is very kind to have made time for me but she’s teaching a program for senior students that have corresponding focus for her cause. Me being the first year newbie with every course starting “Introduction to…” isn’t the most appropriate application bonus. Moreover, according to her conviction, the first year is there to enjoy the experience, observe every option and learn own passion. I’d almost bitten my tongue off for not telling her that it’s difficult to be just exploring when I’m already set on making my mark in the research department for finding and enforcing new ways for curing diseases. Then, there is another professor that leads researches, Dr. Bainman (for the studies of Anatomy), and he says that one can make a mark on our world with anything and in any field, she or he just has to find out what’s the real matter in the overall chaos. In truth, I haven’t figured this man or his theory out yet to tell you my full opinion of him, but he’s either loved or hated by other peers. A new friend of mine, Tom, claims that he’s the particular case of no in-between. I’m certain, you would know or find your own way to him right away though._

_If you expected that there aren’t any languorous professors in T, then I may disappoint you. For example, Dr. Wren, the man for the latin course, is the epitome of just that. Sometimes, I get a feeling that he thinks his subject is so dry and ancillery anyway that it doesn’t matter if he tries to make the language appealing to us or not. Nevertheless, the first phrase he wrote on the board was ‘Ad meliora’ so perhaps there is a chance to uncover the interesting parts later on, together with his ‘To better things’._

_And there are many at the U, mostly thanks to the unique fundings system. Basically, the medical studies are divided into two main paths. The first one is a regular set of courses for 6 years long period resulting in the Medical degree that I’m currently taking. But there is also the second one, advanced, with the option of joining one of the university special projects, earning extra credits and even shortening the degree period! Of course, its accessibility is linked to paying the advanced tuitions but each department offers one full scholarship every year. I’m starting to contemplate enlisting for one as I’m interested in the focus researches in any case and I tend to be a rather homesick fellow. Please, wish me a luck!_

_Because there are no doubts about your academic achievements, then in return, I’m going to share with you some of my favourite places so you can tell everyone you’re familiar with such city as T - I know you want to, my best of the Avonlea bests! Perhaps, it won’t be a huge surprise to you that since the first night, I have been allured by the Gibraltar Point lighthouse. It’s a tall grey stone tower that hovers above the harbour and its surroundings, visible from far, far away. After all, it’s 25m high! What can awoke your interest is that its history is associated with a tragical ghost story which would be just to your style. If my hopes come true and you visit me here at least once, then we could inspect its mysteries in detail and see, if the talk of last 70 years is in line with our sense too. Then I wish to show you the Miller’s pharmacy on the Yonge St. where I work. Yes, I found a job in T! It wasn’t an easy task but luck smiled at me and I became acquainted with an older school fellow named Tom Lancaster who helped me out. We even became sort of friends. I’m determined to get familiar with every single aspect of the store so I can provide you with more details in near future. As of now, I’vent been there enough times to be able to share anything other than the size of the boxes I unpack._

_Which means that I cannot stall any longer… Anne, I have got a confession to make._

_Since you and I met each other on the path of love, I’ve come to dream of all the ways I could woo you during proper calls and long walks. I imagine that we are together -perfectly within the reach of our fingertips- as I’m assuring you just how much special you are to me and as I’m admiring your fair, dainty features. My, one and only, red-headed belle, if we were given the chance, then among the thousands of other things, I would love to squeeze your hand, steal more kisses and recite your chosen poets of praise. I love you so, my Anne._

_And this isn’t a secret I want to keep only in my heart, anymore._

_Therefore, I wrote home to Bash and then to Green Gables, to Marilla and Matthew, confessing the truth. I haven’t declared anything other than my fond feelings for you because I firmly believe that the decision to reveal your inclination or our relations to your family will always be up to you as it rightfully should be. I want to also clear out that I claim no expectations. However Anne, I needed to ask formally because I hold you and them in the highest regard and felt that this was the right thing to do._

_One part of me is now desperately calling for another formal ask of you, but the other, more reasonable, objects that is still too soon and that waiting serves me only right for the mess I created. In the name of clarity, you should however know that I consider you my future, and if it weren’t for the still very recent tangle, I would propose an official courtship with all the noble intentions. I can’t wait for the moment I’ll be able to ask you properly, but meanwhile, I’ll cherish the memories of our last meeting and the letters from you as my great hope._

_Until we’re both ready, please don't be alarmed and know that I'm here to support your every dream and every goal, and if you allow and that moment comes one day, then you'll make me one of the happiest men._

_I will conclude now with the dreadful anticipation of your response. Please, take mercy on me and don't let me wait too long. Whatever your reaction is, I want to know._

_With love,_

_Gilbert_

_P.S. I’m sending this via express, hoping you’ll receive my message before leaving for Avonlea._

_P.P.S. I’m lost every time I look into your eyes, every time I touch your skin. No tea needed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> First of all I have to apologise to anyone who kept waiting for the update. I don't consider myself to be able to update regularly or soon enough, but this chapter took embarrassingly long! I'm sorry.
> 
> I'm very grateful for your comments or any kind of feedback, or if you like to just read and enjoy, then thank you for reading this because it means the world to me too.
> 
> Have all the good days and take care ;-)
> 
> Next chapter: Love is to trust!


	5. Love is to trust!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, chaperoning is still an issue everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got way out of hand.

Gilbert was slowly getting used to his new job. The pharmacy held so much fascination that even his mundane tasks of redistributing different materials and substances couldn’t tame the flaming awe at everything that was happening around him each day. It was like his first days of apprenticeship all over again. Not only was preparing the medicaments basically an alchemy with exact measurements and procedures that both Mr. Miller and Tom knew magically without checking single count of units, but they also provided an advice or a natural solution for people that wouldn’t or couldn’t visit a specialist in almost every medical field. Tom was studying to become a pharmacist like Mr. Miller and great for sharing his knowledge with Gilbert. Gilbert found out that their university owned a pharmacy as well, but to get some practice there was miracle, available only for the most fortunate ones. Besides, Tom appreciated certain interdependence that Mr. Miller allowed and worked most of his free time.

Today was crowded, and both, Tom and Mr. Miller, had all hands full in the front room. Gilbert was just piling the empty boxes and sacks that he already emptied and allocated all their contents to corresponding drawers when Tom came to join him in the preparation room and started to quickly pull several phials and one bigger pot with white powder out on the preparation table. This table was taller than others so no-one had to bend down working on it and it was equipped with new pharmaceutical scales and several mortars.

Tom carefully measured the ingredients into a small bowl and added a proportional amount of water before taking a spoon ladle and handing it all to Gilbert who didn’t hide observing the activity with interest.

“Can you mix it to create a smooth mass?”

“A mass?” Gilbert echoed in surprise. He usually didn’t help with this stuff.

“Yes, nice soft and moist. One young gentleman burned his arm and we’re going to put a poultice on it to sooth the skin and help with follow-up healing. I’m going to prepare his arm meanwhile…” Tom explained and left.

Gilbert started to carefully stir the contents in the small green bowl. He knew from watching often Mr. Miller or Tom to do this, that it usually took them a minute to have the required substance. Irritatingly, he worked twice the time and his mixture still had ugly lumps.

When Tom came back, he grinned at the bowl and took it together with the ladle from him.

“It seems that Blythe needs practise with some things, too!” he teased while briskly whipping the mixture with the immediate effect of smoothing it.

Gilbert rolled his eyes at his friend, but in good humour. Tom’s jokes often remained Gilbert of Bash from the time they first met and they immediately got on. Still, Gilbert was amazed just how quickly he became friends with this outgoing pal and how often he got invited to events with Tom’s group of peers as if Gilbert was somewhat an interesting addition.

“Yeah, mixing isn’t exactly one of my talents,” he said now, faking a sad frown.

“Neither would be cooking!” Tom said with an unsparing laugh and ran away again.

Gilbert gave his back a dirty look before laughing too and going to dispose of the empty containers. There were times, when the similarity between Tom and Bash was suspiciously strong.

After few hours, just before the end of their shift, Gilbert was called by Mr. Miller that he has got a visitor waiting for him outside in the back.

“I'll be right back,” Gilbert shouted and intrigued, went to check the mysterious visit as he hadn’t expected anybody, nor could he remember who other than Tom would even know to find him here.

After entering the small courtyard that belonged to the building, Gilbert squinted eyes at the male figure waiting there. With lifted brow in confusion, he watched as another university peer that was leaning lazily against their water barrels loosened the necktie of his fitted suit and gave him a lazy smile. This guy was shorter but more robust than Tom and held himself with an air of confident nonchalance that was hard to simulate by anybody else.

Little bewildered from this mate’s presence, Gilbert asked. “Rodney? Did something happen?”

“Hey, Gilbert!” he greeted casually as if they were meeting each other outside their dorms regularly. Then, he gave him a wide grin and winked. “Nah, I just came to offer you the most charming company for the afternoon.”

Gilbert frowned, knowing too well what Rodney meant. For this wasn’t the first time his room-mate was asking. But really, did he have to come all the way to his job?

“Rodney, I already told you I don’t want to have anything to do with this. Moreover, I’m at work and…”

“Now, calm down. I’m bringing presents!” Rodney interrupted and put a white envelope out of his coat pocket.

“Hey! That’s my correspondence!” Gilbert exclaimed with hardly concealed urgency and grabbed the letter from the peer’s grip.

It was already half of October and he was going crazy from waiting for Anne’s response to his last letter. Ms. Cuthbert’s short note with reassurance of him always being a part of their family warmed his heart with deep appreciation and gratefulness but Marilla didn’t provide even a notch of Anne’s opinion or feelings. He was keeping himself distracted as much as possible, grateful for his job and increasingly demanding lectures, but the doubts were still getting better of him constantly. Last two weeks, he was hungrily checking their post pile each time he arrived to the building and refused to hand it over until his eyes rummaged through the addresses on the envelopes at least three times.

“See?! I noticed you were overly excited for any post the past week so I decided to be a very nice friend and walk all the way here to help you out and make your day.” Rodney said with a knowing smirk.

Before Gilbert could thank him and hopefully decline his offer once again without sounding ungrateful, the door opened and smiling Tom stepped out to join them.

“Man, good idea to take a break for fresh air! Mrs. Cherry wears so strong perfume! Ugh…” he broke his speech, spotting Rodney and looking him over with interest. “Oh, you have a visit. A friend? How do you do.”

Gilbert introduced both peers quickly and watched in resignation as Rodney started to explain to Tom what it is that he came to ask for.

“My sweetie, Rosalie, and I agreed on a walk round harbour tomorrow, late afternoon. For the chaperone, Rose is taking her friend -a beautiful one, may I add- that apparently takes liking in medical students. This lad doesn’t want to go and enjoy the time with us! I don’t know if he’s just shy or totally immune to fun.”

“Oh, he’s totally no fun,” Tom agreed immediately. Rodney’s face lightened up at that, happy to find an ally while Tom continued. “Last time, I asked him if he wanted to go out with our group of friends, he went on about having to write!”

Rodney sneered. “That’s right. He scribbles at his table all the time!”

Tom nodded seriously as if Gilbert was just convicted with a crime and then faced him with determination. “Gilbert, come on! You’re lucky! I would wash floors for such offer!” Then, evidently having a new idea, he smiled at him and continued all too enthusiastically. “Imagine that, an afternoon stroll with a pretty lady, you assist her at a convenient accident, a touch here or there, some flattering…”

Gilbert sighed. Was he truly…

“Yeah,” Rodney joined Tom, clearly enjoying this, “don’t tell me you haven’t though about touching any ladies or their pretty body parts.”

Tom whistled. “Or pretty undressed body parts!”

Now they were both laughing and watching him expectantly, waiting for any signs of embarrassment. Gilbert shook his head at them, staying unaffected. He spent a year among adult men, _stokers_ , that never held back with their uncanny comments. There was very little he hadn’t heard and these two morons weren’t able to make him squirm. Especially with such young boyish mocking.

“I think that with the way he closes himself within his room with those,” Rodney nodded his head towards the envelope that Gilbert was holding, “there could be one lucky lady already.”

Tom’s eyes widened and pierced him with unhidden curiosity.

“Well, well, well, do you have a girl, Gilbert?”

Gilbert had to ask himself the same question. Did he? “I don’t think that men can own women,” he said instead.

Tom just rolled eyes, and sneered. “Right. Are you courting someone, Mr. of equality?”

Gilbert started to feel a strong urge to flee. Could he possibly deflect them?

“There is definitely someone!” Rodney accused with a grin.

“And?! Who’s that?” Tom insisted excitedly, and Gilbert knew then that there was no way out of this.

“Her name is Anne, and we are….pen pals,” he stated hesitatingly, avoiding eye contact with both of them.

“Pen pals?” Rodney asked in surprise, clearly not expecting that. “That doesn’t sound very romantic. Is she immune to your charm or something?”

Gilbert tightened his grip on the envelope desperately. He thought with deep irony how this conversation was just what he needed today, before Tom’s voice cut in with his comment.

“But these are love letters, right?”

Now it was Gilbert's turn to roll eyes. “Yes, they are.” He replied and looked finally into their waiting faces. “We agreed on mutual affection.”

The guys exchanged a look before Tom said, “Yeah, that sounds unbelievably vague. You are definitely telling us more about your lady. But first, how many ways did you find out to touch your sweetheart?”

Rodney chuckled.

Gilbert shot Tom a pointed stare but felt hot burning at the end of his ears. Damn them!

“I’m going to disappoint you but everything between us has always been very proper. We just very recently realised our feelings and had been only good friends before that.”

“Not a single one?” Tom retorted in amusement, while Rodney kept chuckling.

“There wasn’t even time for any romantic encounter before I had to leave for university.” Gilbert told them, trying to compensate his warm cheeks with a blank expression. All the rare, but more so treasured bits he had with Anne were too precious for him to share or put out for fun of these two idiots.

But it seemed they wouldn’t give up.

“That had to be hard. Are you disclosing your flaming attraction in writing, then?”

“Our letters are strictly confidential.” Gilbert said, shaking head at them and thinking how he never lets any of them near his correspondence. They would be insufferable.

“Come on, Blythe! We wish only well.” Rodney added with sympathetic grin.

Gilbert smiled back to show that he was ok with it but still pressed lips tightly and turned back to let them know that they won’t get one more word out of him.

Anyway, they seemed to get on well to deal with Rodney’s date on their own and he had a very important letter to read. He planned on walking straight home.

“Every pretty lady wants to hear she’s desired!” Tom managed to shout at him one last time before the door to the backyard closed.

_October 9, 1889, Charlottetown_

_Dearest Gilbert,_

_as you already know, I visited our Avonlea again this weekend and the entire time, I was thinking about you and wished, you could be there with me. How much I would have loved to walk the familiar paths down with you, so close that we could tell everything just from the look in our eyes - as it sadly wasn’t the case, I was left to figure everything on my own…_

_I have to confess that before arriving to Green Gables, I hadn’t unfortunately managed to open my latest post and hence prepare myself for Marilla’s proclamation of receiving a letter from you too. Perhaps, you can imagine the shock after hearing what a special ask was presented and how desperately anxious I had been to uncover your intentions. Instantly, I went for your letter as if it was you, able to provide all the explanations and answers to calm the frenzied state of my mind._

_Though sweet heavens!_

_If you remember that item of correspondence you wrote, you have to admit that your letter was kind of torturous and that you deserve for me to also recount all the other_ **_-not helping the nerves-wrecking havoc-_ ** _matters first, to get at least the slightest idea what I had to go through, reading all these lines… Surely, I have to be the saint one in this penpal-ship, because unlike you, I won’t attempt to drown you in utter suspense and give you my feelings on the matter immediately!_

_I’m not certain how to begin and say the following, but I promised myself to be open and honest with you about all of my feelings. Perhaps then, I can hope that we can relay on each other without any doubt or possibility for another misunderstanding. Like you, I’m laying all the cards on the table._

_Truth be told, when I first heard Marilla confess that you asked to pursue me, I had been completely thrown apart and hit by a panic wave settling quickly in all of my thoughts. While I was already assured of my love for you, and somehow, I was beginning to grasp that you reciprocate my fond feelings, it was still pretty hard for me to accept the fact that we could become official sweethearts just so. Considering that I’ve always felt like not having a chance at finding a loving mate who would genuinely want me, the homely orphan, a courtship always seemed like something not within my reach. Only in my deepest phantasies and favourite stories, I let my imagination run free to conjure up love tales of relationships based on unbreakable love, deep affection and mutual respect. And I wasn’t ready to let those dreams come true._

_However, when I finally read your letter, any uneasy feelings I could ever have melted away (and they say, I have a way with words). Perhaps, it’s really too soon and perhaps, we should wait till everything calms down but I would be most honoured if we took up on this challenge together. Because I’m ready, Gilbert. I’m ready to tell people I have one curly-headed lad across the country. I’m ready to answer Rachel’s nosy questions. I’m ready to share our happiness with friends and family. I’m ready for us to officially belong to each other!_

_Therefore, if you still want to ask, please do not hesitate._

_Now, I know I made a complaint about the order of your letter, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoyed all of it thoroughly. At first, you inquired about my literature paper. Well, I’m going to be bold and say that my discussion with Ms. Grace wrapped up to reciprocal satisfaction. The poets were pretty easy to pick up (yes, Whitman involved) but very hard to put across against the challenging claims of our incredible teacher. Trust me, that I’m thus properly prepared for any of yours and I can’t wait for our discussion - only wish it could be in person, when I can read all the surprised expressions at given arguments on your handsome face._

_Personally, I thrill that we are just at the beginning of our journey and everything is ahead of us. The way you are describing the university and its ancillary processes sounds pretty complex, nevertheless I think it’s wonderful that you have chance to join researches, special courses or even shorten your field program. I have no doubt that whatever you set your eyes on, you will thrive at it as always. And congratulations on your new job! Can it be fair how quickly you’re able to make new opportunities and friends? Perhaps, the mysterious Dr. Bainman you told me about will turn out to be your kindred spirit too, and soon, I’m going to be pretty smaradine with jealousy of your achievements and will have to find some new challenges to catch up with you._

_Besides, Toronto sounds so brightly colourful, grand and adventurous. Thank you for sharing your favourite spots! Of course, I would very like to visit you there one day, to see all the places and meet all people that are close to you. I’m starting to plan how to make money for the fares but the biggest obstacle will be convincing others that it’s a good and safe idea. You know dear Marilla…_

_Speaking of which, I wanted to share with you how things are at home._

_As expected, Avonlea is full of the lovely familiar colours and everything seems to be blooming even without us. For example, Marilla told me that Prissy Andrews is getting married again… She hasn’t finished her studies yet so I’m pretty curious who she met and how it came all together. I need to write her a list too and find out the details because Rachel was away with Mr. Lynde for this weekend and Marilla didn’t remember anything particular. Otherwise, Marilla and Matthew are well and together with Jerry and his brother John managing the farm fairly. I’m very glad they took on more help because they both deserve the additional rest. Jerry confessed to me that Matthew is overly tired in the evenings so he sends him to bed as early as possible. Bless him!_

_Of course, I visited Bash and little Delly too. They are together with Mrs. Lacroix and Elijah healthy and well. Bash’s mom still looks at me funny as though I’m utterly shattering her order of things but I get a feeling she’s slowly warming up to me. It’s really endearing how she fusses over everyone and everything, especially our angelic Delphine - can you believe the little one is growing so fast that we can expect her first word pretty soon? What a shame that you nor me can ensure to be within the reach to hear her. I bet that with the way everybody in the household talks constantly about you though, it will be uncle Gil. In any case, Bash promised to write when that happens and let me know the word Delly chooses - which reminds me just how amazingly kind your brother is. I have to admit that I was a little nervous about his reaction to our newfound affection, but just before I left, he told me that he’s happy you came to your senses and that he knows all the recent mess was only your way of not wanting to admit that he was always right and finally won. Not sure what he exactly meant by that but he was clearly beaming and gave me a crushing hug!_

_As you can read, the visit home went pretty smoothly. Well, at least till the time it was supposed for us to go back._ _At the end of the weekend I met Diana on the platform to head back to Charlottetown together. Diana was finally blissfully happy as ever, and we decided not to let the melancholy of leaving home get better of us and enjoy the ride. During the journey, we were sitting opposite quite a pleasant young man. He seemed in a good mood, politely asked us about our business on the train and introduced himself as Redd. I have to say that pretty soon, we were engaged in a pleasant discussion and found out he had almost the same knowledge of French classics and music as Diana. The conversation went lovely and we even got an invitation to one concert held in Charlottetown for solo piano. Can you imagine Diana’s excitement???_

_If only it could have lasted for more than few happy moments. Because it seems that any kind of happiness really must be short lived for Diana and me this year…_

_For, while we were exchanging the formalities to agree on further details and realisation of our plan, it was discovered that Redd is Mr. Frederick Whelks, an older brother of the infamous Mr. Whelks who brought so much troubles on Diana and me! Of course, Mr. Frederick Whelks stood up for his brother and changed his friendly manners to cold resentment immediately. He even gave us some supercilious remarks about good versus misleading behaviour, and then, he and Diana threw some very angry glares at each other. I’m used to awkward atmosphere thanks to my hot temper, but this time? I had the support role, and let me tell you Gilbert, that’s quite an uncomfortable position!_

_After some time it seemed that Diana had enough and gave a remark about how some men simply know no boundaries to their unfounded excitement (true!) but Redd argued that Diana had to surely know what she was doing when she was unchaperoned. Gilbert, she wasn’t! I had been only meters away! Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to say a word because Diana became so furious (I don’t think that even that unfortunate proposal made her this angry) that she abandoned all reason and started swearing at him. Our Diana! Needles to say that our companion left not long after she begun without any parting words. My poor friend doesn’t want to talk about it and as of now (3 days later), she has turned down any of my attempts to do so, but I can see that it troubles her greatly. Thus, I’m trying to come up with a plan how to resolve this thing once and for all because I cannot help but still feel partly responsible…_

_I’m going to set it as my most important task in October!_

_While I would love to go on and on, telling you all details of my planning, when I look at the length of this paper, I feel that I shall not take anymore of your time. I guess I just miss talking to you and having you in classes for proper discussion._

_Therefore, I’m going to end this with the thought that the sooner my letter will be sent, the sooner your reply can arrive._

_Please be well._

_With lots of love,_

_Anne_

_P.S. I took a walk around the Orchard, beautifully coloured by fall magic and a realisation came to my mind. Gilbert, I want to be linked to you as are the branches of the two apple trees staying there that had been planted too close, growing through for decades so no-one could ever separate them…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I wish you are all well :-)
> 
> Unfortunately, I don't have any excuse for the delay other than that life got busy. Also, I was stuck on writing another story that just wouldn't leave me but I don't like unfinished projects so I tried to come back to this one ASAP.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Next chapter: Love is to be attracted!


	6. Love is attraction!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Correspondence and confessions from sweethearts.

“The most lovely knees!” Tillie exclaimed with pleased squeal while Josie looked quickly around the shop to check that nobody paid them any unwanted attention. Anne only smiled and gently poked Ruby who was giggling again, hiding red cheeks behind the back of her tiny palms.

Anne had just spent an hour with Tillie, Josie and Ruby on their usual tea between classes while Tillie shared the latest correspondence from one of her new admirers. The letter was very sweet but also daring and full of small hints for tender intimacies! All of them were bend over the simple note, cheeks red and unbelievable chuckles escaping their mouths.

Every Friday afternoon, Anne, Diana, Ruby, Tillie, Jane and Josie came to the Tea shop of Mrs. Pots for a cup of tee while gossiping, sharing romantic ventures or simply watching others and enjoying the atmosphere of town life.

Today, they were only four as Diana and Jane couldn’t join because Diana was to attend lunch with her farther and some business partner while Jane was meeting with Prissy.

“Now, now, dear Tillie,” said Josie when the last part of the love note was uncovered, “what would Paul say?”

Ruby’s face adoringly scrunched in confusion. “Wait, which one?”

Tillie smiled proudly. “Down worry, Ruby, I cut Pauls off, deciding to be free for Charlottetown adventures!”

“Charlottetown definitely seems prepared for it.” Anne nodded her head towards the note and all of them laughed.

“And what about you Anne? Do you think Charlottetown is prepared for our Queen of adventure?” Tillie asked.

Anne quickly laid down the cup that was just on its way to her mouth.

“Well, I-I’m not sure that” she staggered, rarely not knowing how to end her sentence.

Again, a stab of guilt stroke her for keeping secrets from her friends. They were all sharing and as she wrote to Gilbert in her last letter, she wished to be able to talk with them about her happiness and romance as well. It was just… she didn’t quite know how or where to start. It seemed somewhat silly to bring it up now. If only Diana were here, too!

Not able to find any right words, she decided that today was still not the day, swallowed any remorse and continued confidently, “that any town could ever prepare for that!”

They all laughed again except Josie who yawned and said humourlessly, “Boring!”

Anne only smiled, used to Josie’s prickly comments.

“I need Gilbert,” Josie however suddenly exclaimed and all eyes widened at her. Anne’s chin dropped.

When she saw the shocked stares of her friends, Josie quickly specified.

“For economy!” “He was always able to state the math logic somewhat simply, you know? This professor thinks that he can lay out a problem and we all just know. The hours I must now spend by reading books!”

“I could help you with that as well.”

“Of course, thank you Anne! I will certainly ask you. It’s just that… Gilbert could be very patient and…”

Now Anne really flared up.

“I can be too! Even more!”

“Sure, Anne. You’re both admirably studious,” Ruby was calming her down immediately.

“And you, Ruby?” Tillie asked. “I noticed that you and Moody were lingering behind together the last time we all went for a walk!”

“Yeah, Ruby! Is Moody romantic?”

Ruby looked shocked that Josie could even ask such question. “Of course, he’s romantic!” she exclaimed immediately. “He’s a musician,” she explained, accompanying her words with firm nod as if musicians naturally equaled the most established love poets.

All girls smiled encouragingly at that. They were all very happy for Ruby and wished her and Moody the best. Anne found it beautiful that such luck was found between two of her close friends.

“Share something then!”

“He said that my eyes shine more brightly than the strings of his banjo after all evening of playing.”

“Strings?!”

“I think that it’s very poetic that he used something that he loves!” said Anne quickly, supporting Ruby’s excitement.

“Oh, Anne!”, Ruby turned to her fully, eager to share her delight. “He also said that he likes my smile and he often follows it over the room to admire my lips.”

“Lips?!” Tille reacted immediately, giving supporting smile of her own followed by her typical mischievous wink, “he definitely thinks about kissing you often enough!”

“Tillie!” Ruby exclaimed, laughing cheerfully, all red again.

After they departed in front of the tea shop, Anne decided to take a walk around the nearest park garden.

She needed the comfort of nature as she felt little flustered and tense.

She would be more proud of herself if these feelings were connected to the fact that she still owed truth to her friends about her and Gilbert, but it wasn't really that. She was convinced that after thorough consultation with Diana, they would come up with a way to tell everybody without too much drama. She trusted her friends to be happy for her.

The unpleasant truth was that Anne was a little jealous.

She remembered all the precious letters that Gilbert sent her and of course, nothing was more valuable than his confession of love for her, and he treated her peculiarly as the most special person (no-one would be able to write such lovely words), but she also longed for some sort of daring proof how much he was attracted to her. It was extremely silly and she felt stupid for it, but her heart also wanted to hear about desire and longing like other girls received.

Even **Moody** expressed some endearment toward Rubby. Sure, it was in its simplicity but still very sweet and telling of his feelings. Rubby had apparently gracefully shaped lips worth of admiring.

Did Gilbert consider her lips also lovely? Admirable? Did he remember their kiss? And would he like to repeat it? Again and again like her?

She sighed, kicking a small stone on her way. She knew that Gilbert wasn’t shy. She wasn't shy. Perhaps, she could simply ask... Although, being the bride of adventure and all, she still wasn't sure she would have courage for that... or did she?

In the end Anne decided to ask for advice - Diana and her had a long evening before them tonight.

However when she came home that evening, her best friend was holding for her something even better than advice. Diana handed her a white envelope making Anne's wishes come true miraculously without any asking needed.

_October 26, 1889, Toronto_

_My dear Anne,_

_I’m writing right away as your last letter made me restless with excitement and I cannot wait a moment longer. If my thoughts are then all over the place, please accept my sincere apology right at the beginning._

_Firstly, I must ask for your forgiveness for my act causing you shock or any unease. Please believe me that I never meant to handle or share anything without your consent. If I may hope upon your response, then my letter to you was at least considerate enough to redeem the deed, but I should have made sure, you were of the same mind first. We shall always step forward together and if my eagerness crossed line in any way, I’m genuinely sorry._

_And so before I loose the courage your wonderful words have given me, I ask: Would you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, like to step in a courtship with me? You should make this decision fully aware that I’m only a lad who is also homely orphan, who didn’t think that it would be possible to find reciprocated love with somebody as amazing as you but who found his whole world in you and now wishes to be able to support you and love you with all his heart._

_Trust me, that among all the other thousand things, I miss you in my classes terribly as well. Because you’re brilliant like that your assumption about Dr. Bainman could truly turn to be true. While I wouldn’t call him a kindred spirit yet, we had a few debates and he even asked me if I wanted to help him with preparations for class from time to time. And as always, I have You to thank for that. Can you remember the one time at school, still with Mr. Phillips, when we were discussing the view of one’s future and you fearlessly stated how everybody could do anything they dreamed of if they put their minds to it? Mr. Phillips immediately revolted, naming the supposed roles we all must play and commanding you to stand in the corner as punishment and discouragement for the rest of us. Nevertheless, you stood there straight as always, a look of pure determination on your face while Mr. Phillips tried to explain to us the ‘right’ order of things. For his belief in the glory of himself he failed to notice that your silent but still firm stance had gotten to us more than his words ever could._

_I remember this often, usually during the classes that make me realise how difficult it is to get my matter through and when I need a little push to fight against the supposed expectations - I still haven’t given up my aspiration to enter the research team even though I don’t meet the routine requirements and 'should have fun instead'. Tom said that I was the most impatient, competitive and ridiculous person he had met, I told him that he hadn’t yet met you but he wouldn’t ever call you ridiculous! If somebody is ridiculous, it’s him and his meddling, silly remarks… excuse me, I mean he’s a good friend, he just stroke a nerve today so I’m little annoyed with him…_

_Anyway, I know I already said it, but I miss you. Everything about you. I miss your fiery braids, your admirable grey eyes always wide open with wonder, your daring lips drawing me nearer. If I may confess, then I definitely knew I couldn’t deny my desire for you (for them) after our dance lesson all those months ago. When simple touch turned everything else into mush and when I longed for our hands not to let go of each other ever again. To this day, I still see the pink glow of your soft cheeks, the excited sparks glimmering in your eyes and the smaragdine glint of your flying dress. Could you have any idea how much my fingers longed to trace the thick lace marking the edges to your precious features? - It was certainly the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen and the most Herculan effort I’ve had to take to part with you then._

_It almost challenges our parting in Charlottetown… however as I fear I was way too bold already, if you allow then I’ll let those notions wait for your ears when we see each other again, up to close._

_Which if everything goes according to the plan could be already at Christmas break! I contemplated staying in Toronto, saving money and time but if I put so much effort into my studies, how could I put less into seeing my family? Seeing you? It’s Christmas and we should spend it together. Do you think we could arrange Christmas celebration all of us together either at Green Gables or at our farm? I’m going to ask Bash too._

_By the way thank you for the news of home. I’m truly happy that Marilla and Matthew are alright and doing well, that Green Gables is finding new and dear souls to claim. I also believe that if needed, Bash and Elijah can give helping hand too. Not that I had any doubts, but I confess that I was relieved to read that the Blythe-Lacroix households seems to be thriving too. And trust me that it is only for your own good that you hadn’t had any idea what Bash was referring to. He had written me after your visit as well and was bragging all the way through - he’s lucky that I miss him so much to forbid him any future correspondence._

_Please give my regards to Diana and let me know what plan you came up with, knowing you it will be grandiose and effective, but_ **_please_ ** _be careful during your adventures. For me._

_With love,_

_Gilbert_

_P.S. As days come and go around here, it’s unbelievable that it has been only (or already?) two months since we last saw each other. Even though I spend almost all my day hours at classes or at work and usually don’t know where the time goes each day, the hours without you feel endless._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you for reading!
> 
> Yes, this is still embarrassingly under way. To be honest, I didn't feel like coming back to this work past months as I had other things on mind or wasn't in mood for sweet romance that is this story for me. Anyway, holiday spirit helped and I'm able to go out with another chapter.
> 
> I hope you all are well and safe!


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